I haven’t written for some time due to the busy summer that occupied me (getting married, holiday, settling in to the life of a newly wed). But I’d like to start getting back into routine with a blog post-Dedicated to results day, change and new starts!
As a young soon-to-be-wedded muslimah living in a predominantly Asian community I heard a lot of ‘it’ll all start once you’re married’, ‘wait till you’re married and it’ll hit you’, ‘enjoy the honeymoon period whilst it lasts’ and many more remarks that I couldn’t help but feel carried negative connotations. I have alhamdulillah only been married 5-6 weeks but they have been wonderful. I miss my mums hearty casserole and my dads comments that make me giggle, my grandmas one of a kind akni and my loud siblings, but they’re ALL still there for me. The difference is I’ve now started a life with my better half who I’ll start a family with some day. Marriage seems to have a ‘life-stop’ stigma to it and it’s frustrating to hear when you’re looking forward to taking your next step as a married couple. Yes there are moments of stress or anxiety when you’re settling in to a new house and I’m certain there’ll always be things to learn and compromise on. But having a new start in life with someone you love is a beautiful experience. There’s more love than annoyance, more happiness than frustration. Little negative moments last no longer than 10 minutes because your love for your spouse takes over the little thing you were annoyed about. You learn, you compromise, you move on, you love. LOVE being the main glue that holds you together. There’s no reason to argue when you remember you’re rewarded every time you look at eachother with love. SubhanAllah. Respect eachother and work together.
My point in explaining my first reflections as a newly wed being that we’re going to always make new changes in our lives. Some big, some small, but they’re going to be changes that affect our routine. We’ve become so attatched to little worries and listening to other people’s experiences that we forget to make our own. Especially as a Leicester girl living in an Asian Muslim society. It’s ridiculous that we can’t take a minute to step out the little box we’ve put ourselves in and look at the bigger picture, of loving and living for the sake of god. For doing everything to please him and to please yourself. To gain happiness.
So yes, you may have failed your a levels, or maybe you’re moving out to uni, or maybe you’re getting married, or you are married and are having difficulty, whatever your change is, it’s happening for a reason. Allah has put you there for a reason- find it. It’s up to YOU to be the result you want to see. Even if it feels impossible, move forward. Keep moving forward and along the way people will try to discourage you. But it’s up to YOU not to listen. Believe in yourself, believe in love, and most importantly have belief in God. He’ll get you there. You just have to take the first step.
Don’t let any negativity discourage you from being the best you can be. Consider the possibilities, use your initiative, and follow your heart AND mind. Every change is a new beginning.
May we have the best success in this world and in the hereafter. May we find love and happiness in all we do. May we be granted with ease and patience in times of worry and difficulty, and may Allah bring us closer to the ones we love. Ameen.